My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
