He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
