my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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