She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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