Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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