too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
