when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
