Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
