No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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