Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In other news, I just burned my penis
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
