i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
