what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
