just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
