We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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