we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
