hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
