Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
