I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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