return my video game
oh god the rape fog is back!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
