I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
