The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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