He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize