I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
