Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
