People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
