just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
