craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
