you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
