I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
