I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
