Only a mothe r could love this liver
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
