The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize