he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
