Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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