a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize