i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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