I think I am morally bankrupt
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
