Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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