Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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