were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
