Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
