he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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