i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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