So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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