I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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