lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
