i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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