I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
