My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
