I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
