You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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