I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
