I wish I only lived at night.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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