glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
