think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just want nice things and good sex
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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