how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
