Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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