Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize