Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
