just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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