i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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