Whoa Z and x make the same sound
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I still have a little drunk in my system
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
