At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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