u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
