Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
