I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Four minutes until I can fart!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
