you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
