Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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