Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
