Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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